The Illusion of Success

Posted: February 21, 2012 in Uncategorized

Sense you have started PU, have yet achieved any success?

If so, was that success do to learning PU theory?

I asked a guy I know, Rob, those same questions five months after he started learning PU. Searching the internet he accidentally stumbled onto a book that included routines and theory about picking up women. He said the book first got his attention because “it had a Gothic looking clown on the cover.”

Rob had always had average social skills and had been average with women. He had never cold approached a woman in his life but had managed to get a few GFs from his social circle. His GFs ranged from slightly below average, to slightly above average but mostly average overall. Rob was just the average 22yo American male with average success and average looks.

I ran into him five months after he had been practicing PU. I was curious as to what his success had been. I live about 70 miles away from him and haven’t really been able to give him any coaching because of it. When he got the book with the “funny goth clown” on the cover I advised him against it. I told him there were better books on the market but he was drawn to that one due to the seemingly logical structure it gave and also because it gave the exact lines to say. It simply made sense to him.

He bought me a beer and we started talking about his “success.” I learned that Rob did do quite a bit better than most new guys do in five months but I attributed that to his previous social skill. Most guys who enter this community have extremely bad social skills to begin with, he didn’t so his learning curve is shorter. Rob broke it down for me. In five months he went out four nights a week on average and approached anywhere from 8 – 20 girls a night on average. Over all he estimated that he approached anywhere from 800 – 1200 women all together and the large majority of the approaches had been night game in dance clubs, bars, the occasional lounge or two, and a concert.

Overall he managed to get a lot of numbers, 23 dates and 7 lays.

Thats better than a lot guys get after their first five months, specially when they practice the type of linear, scripted game he was.

I looked at Rob and asked him a question: “Rob, to you contribute this success to the PU theory you read?”

A smile beamed across his face, “Hell yes. I never had this kind of success before I read the PU theory.”

I nodded my head and asked him another question. “Rob, from what I know about you, I get the feeling that you were generally liked by the females in your social circle before you started learning PU, correct?”

“Yes…” he replied wondering where I was going with this. He then added, “they liked me as a friend but I didn’t appeal to them as a lover.”

I nodded again. “and Rob, would you say you ever creeped out the girls in your social circle?”

Rob looked at for a second as if trying to think… “Not really. I was just kinda ‘neutral’ really. Not creepy, not a potential lover, just ‘likable.”

I smiled and took a sip of my beer. “Rob, sense you have started learning PU and started cold approaching women, how many women have you creepd out?

Rob had a puzzled look on his face but spoke up after only a moment of hesitation. “Umm, a lot to be honest. Most girls I approach reject me in a nice way. Some just blow me off, some hooks, and a good number get creeped out.”

He stopped talking but looked as if he had more to say. “Go on Rob” I motioned…

Rob continued, “Well, it sometimes seems as if the women doesn’t really care about me needing a female opinion. I mean, its like they don’t get why a guy in a nightclub is interrupting them dancing to get an opinion on something random.”

I nodded in agreement. “Rob, what else do you do that creeps the girls out?”

He didn’t even have to think…. “Well man, more than a few times I was called on the lines I used. Told me they herd them before. I ended up making my own routines but even then I was called out for sounding inauthentic a few times. Also, women didn’t really seem to care about the magic tricks I tried to do. I was good at them but they were basic and they probably seen them done before. Besides, I just felt like I was bothering them when I done that. They were busy dancing and chatting with their friends. I added no value except a lame magic trick. I cut that out.”

I thought back to the time I tried a magic trick in the club a long time ago. It was lame and the chick did her own disappearing act because of it. I couldn’t help but laugh to myself a little bit at that memory.

“Rob,” I continued, “Would you say that you now acct more creepy than you did before?”

He thought hard for a minute and looked up at me, “yes, I suppose you could say that. BUUUT, I’m having more success now than I was before.”

I nodded in agreement. “But Rob, how many woman did you approach before?”

“None.” He quickly answered.

After another long gulp of beer, “So Rob, what your saying is, when you approached no women, you had no success. When you started approaching women, you started having success?”

“…yes…” he softly answered, again not knowing where I was going with it.

I continued, “You also became more creepy. Another question for you, I know you suck at basketball but if you went outside and show 20 free throws, how many would you make?”

“A few because of dumb luck” he said.

“Now what if you read a book that incorrectly taught you how to shoot free throws. Lets say it taught you to turn your back to the hoop, close your eyes, and wildly throw the ball without aiming to the hoop. Now lets say you did that method and threw 800 free throws. How many would you make?” I asked him.

He sat up in his chair, the puzzle coming together for him. “More than I did when I shot the 20 free throws. But again, it would be due to dumb luck.”

“Exactly” I replied. “You were probably better at shooting free throws before you read the book. The reason you would had more success at free throws after you read the book is only because you took more shots.”

He beamed a smile, “so your saying that the more action I take, the more results I will get.”

“Yes.” I leaned into him a little bit. “Now what if you read a book on free throws that taught you the right way to shoot? It teaches you to bend your knees when you shoot, the correct way to stand, the correct way to shoot. Then you go out and shoot 800 times, how many would you make?”

“A lot more than anytime before” he said.

We continued on our conversation into the evening and chugged some more beers. I got him to realize that what he read only made him worse. he thought he was getting better because he was sleeping with more women but the reality is that if he would have approached the same amount of women without learning the PU theory he did, he probably would have had more success.

Rob eventually learned the right way to do things and went on to not be creepy and actually get very good at seduction.

The point I’m stressing here is that no matter what method/style of “game” your practicing you need to take a hard look at it and figure out if its the reason your having success.

No matter how bad socially you are, if you have by the time you have approached 800 women, you should have at least a 5% success rate if what your doing actually works at all. You don’t even have to be doing it all that good to get a simple 5%.

Take Rob for example, after 800 women he only slept with 7 of them. 5% of 800 is 40 women… much more than 7.

Pretty much any “afc” without game can approach 800 women and get better than seven lays.

Once again, look at what your doing and figure out if the reason your getting more success is due to your approaching more, or due to the method itself.

I’ve ran into so many guys from the local lair here that went out and did the PU stuff they learned and only had a tiny amount of success. They they gave it up, went back to being normal and started having more success. Then some of them found stuff that actually works and played to their strengths and went out and had even more success.


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