15 Common Mistakes!

Posted: February 27, 2011 in Uncategorized

The following is a list of common mistakes new guys make all the time.

1) Worrying about your opener. The opener is the least important part of the interaction yet people worry about it the most. Stop trying to construct the “perfect” opener. Most of the time a simple “hi!” will work better than any “amazing” opener you think you have. What you open with isn’t really an issue so don’t make it one.

2) Looking for IOIs. If your stuck inside your head looking for indicators that shes interested in you, you wont be fully present in the moment and enjoying your time with her as much as you should be. Don’t look for indicators that she is interested in you, assume attraction.

3) Lack of escalation. This ties into #2. Most of the new guys are afraid to escalate so they wait for signs that shes interested. Don’t wait! Start escalating right from the beginning. Even if shes not interested, your escalation may very well change her mind and make her interested.

4) Not Leading. Are you leading her or is she leading you? Leading includes leading her physically and emotionally. Lead the conversation to where you want it to go, lead her feelings and thoughts to where you want them to be, lead her to your bedroom. Leading is a massive topic worthy of its own article and i’ll be writing up one soon.

5) Not going out. I meant to put this first because its a biggie! Don’t sit inside all day and dream of going out…go out! No excuses.

6) Reading to much theory. You will never learn it all. Go out and stop trying to be perfect. Don’t overload yourself with to much information.

7) Not being sexual enough. Most guys spend way to much time trying to be interesting/charming/valuable and not enough time creating a sexual vibe between them. Read Chief’s post on the subject.

8) Leaving too soon. Most guys eject from a “set” waaay to soon. The first sign of resistance and they walk away. Don’t be that guy. “Burn your sets to the ground.” – Jeffy. Its a silly quite but the point it makes is massive. If the don’t like you, they are free to go away or tell you to do so. Don’t eject at the first sign of trouble or resistance.

9) Playing it safe. Most guys play not to loose instead of playing to win. A good example of this is not escalating. By not escalating they may not get blown out (right away) but they arn’t going to close either. Play to win and take some risk!

10) Seeking validation. A lot of guys go out and seek validation, both from their male friends and the women they interact with. Stop trying to impress people, stop trying to get outside validation. Express yourself and your intent, don’t try to impress others for the validation.

11) Little girl voice. Seriously, SPEAK UP! Most guys speak with a weak voice. Next time your in a club just remember, SPEAK UP!

12) Momentum. Most guys stall around when they get to the club. they go to the bar, then the bathroom, then to check bakc in with their friends, then check out the place for women. Instead of doing all that, open the first person you see. Man, woman, tranny…doesn’t matter. Open them and be social! You don’t have to try and pick them up. The goal is to get in a social mood.

13) Failure to have fun. Fun before anything else. If your not having fun, your doing something wrong. Have fun and don’t take things so seriously.

14) Over Gaming. This is actually a huge problem. A lot of the time the woman will ready to be pulled but instead you turn her off by over gaming her.

15) Not being prepared. What do I mean? Having a condom! I’m always surprised at how many guys go out looking to get laid but don’t bring a condom. Bring a couple but don’t be the douche bag thay pulls out a whole roll of condoms infront of the girl. Stuff one or two in your pocket an be on your way.

There are plenty more but these are the common ones. If you recognize yourself making any of these take action to correct them.

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